A CASE OF A TROUBLESOME SUPERIOR

It has been a while and I don't have any excuse, except that I've been busy. I know consistency is key but,  I was working on self development. I mean, who doesn't want to improve oneself and set his/her priorities straight?!? Well, it still doesn't buttress any point as an excuse.
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I have series of event I would love to share. I hope I'm able to do this quite often. So help me God😄😃!
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On this fateful day,  I got to my workplace later than expected due to the fact that I had to fix some issues in the early hours of the day. I didn't plan to perform any duty. I just wanted to take permission because I wasn't in a good state to work health-wise and I had to take some days off to attend to some personal issues.
As I stepped into the office, I noticed a higher executive officer from another department battling to draft letters. Intermittently, he was going to the shelf across board to sort out documents since there was already a change in the cabinet. I turned my head towards a different direction to avoid having any eye contact with him. He kept raising his head to observe what I was doing.
Few minutes later, he walked up to where I was standing and ordered me to bring out my laptop to help him out as the work load was too much for him. Prior to this, I was helping a woman to configure the internet settings on her mobile phone after I had taken permission to leave from my boss.
I followed his order and almost in no time at all I was done with the work he assigned to me. He checked and insisted I typed 10 different copies with few adjustments of the initial letter I typed and save it in a PDF format as a document of his. Not edit, type! I was furious but I couldn't help it. This made me stay back a little longer. I was done with all what he asked me to do and the next thing was to print. He said I couldn't print till 4pm because I was in a haste to get the work done. I had to call his attention to the fact that I wasn't feeling too well, therefore, I needed to travel. I couldn't leave for the park in the evening. This man refused. He said he is a senior officer, he wouldn't give me any letterhead paper. Afterwards, he told me some cock and bull stories like a boring version of all those tales by moonlight stories. Having to go back and forth with him was exhausting, so, I tried to stay quiet. After an hour, I went to his own office and it was locked. I collected his mobile contact from a junior officer, called him and he still insisted that I wait till 4pm. Why??! No reason.

I explained my ordeal to the head of my department and she emphasised on how much of a trouble he was. He loves to exercise power in her words.
"Okay o, power ranger", I said to myself.
 I decided to leave since pleading did me no good. At about 4:45pm, he was calling me repeatedly. My phone rang up to five times before I eventually answered his call. He told me to take the documents to the permanent secretary's office of a government official which is situated about a kilometre or thereabout from my workplace. Unknowingly to him,  I was in transit to Lagos and I had passed Sagamu. I was in my "las las I cannot come and kill myself" mood. When I arrived at Lagos, he called me again and I had to tell him where I was.  He started yelling and asking how I felt with what I did. I interrupted with "sorry sir" and he ended the call. Truly, how did I feel?? Good, really good. After all, a roaring Lion kills no game😁.
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A lot of people abuse their positions, show no empathy and misuse their power. What happened to "humanity first"? As we keep urging our government to do better, we should learn to also act better. Reflect the attributes you demand from others.
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Enough of the motivational speech!
The bottom line is "first to do no dey pain".

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TBT

Hey guys!!!!
It has been a while. I don’t even want to start with the busy gist, LOL. Did I just type ‘LOL'? My bad! The truth is aside being busy, the network connection in my location has been pretty bad, plus, the tight schedules in between didn't even give me enough spare time to post something. I love being consistent but then, ohh....well, no excuse. Someone accused me of not writing in a while and went further to say it’s me being selfish with a gift. I'll pretend I totally know what that means.
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I’ll try my best to at least keep up with this space. Also, my views increased even without posting anything. It’s weird but I appreciate your unwavering support.
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It’s thursday and thursdays come with the #throwbackthursday hashtag. I won’t throw back a picture but a memory😁.
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Quite a number of people have accused me of keeping a serious face seven out of ten times. I won’t activate my defense mechanism 'cause I know it’s not absolutely true. Although, I would never be caught smiling sheepishly, I rather keep a cool face. Well, a cool facial expression is my default look when I’m not saying anything😉. Truth be told, I really do laugh hard and loud (when I'm around my Gs) but some people read meanings to that and then, I like public composure.😉 One situation made me turn that part of me down a notch.
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I left Lagos for the first time to school in Kwara and adapting to a new environment I felt was dominated by Muslims was a little tough for me. Let me digress, I missed wearing my sleeveless tops and gowns ‘cause it used to be my most comfortable outfit. You know, more than half of the year is usually hot, what would I be doing with sleeves?? 😑😑. Back to my story. I resumed for my remedial programme and met girls, ladies and women with veils basically called “hijab" in the school viccinity. We were to register for the temporary I.D cards during the first week, you should trust students with the rush. Some people were doing what we popularly refer to as “shunting". They went straight to the front of the queue without verbal permission or any gesture portraying that. Mehn!! The struggle was real. While we ‘JJC’ kept murmuring about the unfair act to no avail, there came an Alhaja (I'm not certain if she has been to Mecca but the word “Alhaja” is often times used in Kwara as a description for fully dressed “Muslim hijabian sisters”) to the rescue. Her long hijab swept the floor as she walked up to the front of the queue to address the situation aggressively. Some people supported the motion, others raised their voices to shun her. As she headed back to join the crew, a male student unknowingly stepped on the helm of her hijab. Not only did it get torn, she also tripped off to the ground and fell on another guy. All she did was shout “subanallah" because she regarded it as haram (sin). Another male student rushed immediately to where she was laying quite helpless. I could observe she was bruised on her chin. The male student stretched forth his hands to help her back to her feet but she kept on shouting “subanallah" and refused his help. I did burst into a very loud laughter. It was really a funny situation because of her size. I felt she needed the gentleman's help, at the same time, I felt pity for the young boy she was laying on. After three to four minutes, two other sisters came to help her out, but they still requested for help from the gentleman. He came to their aid. I laughed uncontrollably as it was the first time I witnessed a scenario like that. Some other Muslim sisters accused me of mockery which was not the case. I only found it weird that she felt it was a sin to have contact with the opposite gender who isn’t her husband and won’t receive help from someone who had the intention of getting her on her feet. Her expression and drama made it seem like it was more than what I narrated.
It took time for me to understand that beliefs differ but I was seen as insensitive which was not the case. It was pretty not cool for her to think she was committing a sin but didn’t want help to get out of the sin because she had her mind structured towards a perception. She still ended up getting the help from what she portrayed as haram (sin). I had to learn to control my laughter so as not to be seen as insensitive from that day even though I still think of how funny the situation was.
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The point is she ignored the message and focused on what I'd rather tag as irrelevant. She needed help, refused help from a genuine source but continued wailing. No wonder Chimamanda said “pay attention to context but never disregard intent.” I can liken the situation to Falz' ‘this is Nigeria’ video. Some people have criticized him on girls using hijab to dance “shaku shaku” but have not acknowledged he was raising a voice about the happenings in Nigeria. We have ignored the message and embraced little details as irrelevant as that. He passed a message and also, made a statement stating he had no intention of making a mockery of Islam. Some others still want to sue him. Oh well, this is Nigeria!😑
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I didn't forget the features I said I'll be including, I really need to create enough time for that.
I had to type this during the early hours of the day and wait for my network connection to be good enough before I post. Sorry for starving you guys. Do have a wonderful thursday and beautiful June!
Anne, XO.

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TEACH THE GIRL CHILD

Hey guys, it's been a crazy long while. Okay, I went on an off-season long break. Sorry, I just couldn't post in a long while. Hope we all have been steps closer to our dreams than the last time you checked here? Definitely, I can say Yes for myself and a few more people reading this. Scratch that, everyone reading this.
The weather has been pretty weird lately. Did I say weird?? Oh, I meant different. Well, it has been raining cats and dogs in Lagos. Mehn, it seems like an all-rainy season. I hope agriculturists are taking advantage of this. You know?? Less expenses on irrigation.. O yeah!
LOL. Don't mind me. A massive welcome to you guys checking here out for the first time. I wish I could do another 'intro' but hey, I'm not here to write an epistle, you know? *winks*
Yesterday, was 'The International Day of The Girl Child.'  It'll be quite inappropriate for me not to celebrate beautiful women and girls out there.

Every child has a dream. Sometimes, the society forces a girl child to terminate her dreams simply because of gender. One day, I overheard a mother in my neighbourhood telling her daughter, 'NO! you can't be a mechanical engineer, it's a profession for boys and you are a girl. Tell me something else....' and the little girl looked up to the sky while closing her eyes, thinking of what to say. I shook my head in disappointment. Why is she trying to tarnish the poor child's aspiration? I uttered rhetorically. I've been a victim of this too. I love sports generally and I watch football at home. Often times, my aunt would say, 'you love football, it is bad. Football is for boys and men. It is not for girls.' In the company of my female friends, when I stop to check livescores.com sometimes for the latest updates on football matches. I have this friend that says, 'Anne change!! You aren't a boy.' and then I just say 'what happened to Amby Wambach and other female footballers?' They just don't care. Sadly, we live in a society that limits what a girl should do, like or become in the future.
I can't thank my parents enough for raising me in the best way they can. They make me survive and thrive in a society that limits the dreams of a girl child. I was taught to aspire and become the best in any field of my choice in a society that looks down on a girl child. Raising a girl child is quite demanding but in the end fulfilling. My granny usually say "the sky is enough for all birds to fly irrespective of size, gender, colour or anything." Anyone can soar irrespective of gender. You can be a doctor, pharmacist, farmer, lawyer, teacher, fashion designer, engineer, just name it!
Today and henceforth, teach the girl child, her dreams can be achieved. She is beautiful, outstanding, smart, awesome, powerful and blessed. Teach the girl child she can go places outside the four walls of the kitchen and her home. Assure the girl child she has a voice in this generation and can change the world. Make known to the girl child marriage is beautiful but not a yardstick to measure womanhood or achievements. Remind the girls and women in your life how unique they are. Constantly whisper to the girl child,  "you can achieve even as a girl child." Teach the girl child the essence of believing in her own prowess. I hope with time, the society appreciates the importance of a girl child soon enough. I celebrate every girl and woman out there. Y'ALL ROCK!
Have a great week,
Anne.
XO
Image source: GlobalGirlPower

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BAD HABIT

I alighted from a motorcycle earlier today and I noticed something. The motorcyclist placed his left index finger into his mouth at first and then he moved to the next finger. He was biting off and chewing his fingernails. He did this in a quite enthusiastic manner as he awaited the money for his service rendered. I searched my purse and brought out a two hundred Naira note. When he stretched his right hand to receive the money, I noticed he barely had fingernails on his fingers. He had virtually chewed them all. A grown up man like that?!! I shook my head in disappointment. "Madam, wetin happen?" he asked. "Nothing o."  I replied. This recession where minding one's business is essential. The fear of getting "who fingers epp?" as an answer left me mute.

I remembered I had this bad habit a long time ago.
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When I was a little child, about the age of five or thereabout, I used to do the same thing as the motorcyclist. I liked to bite my fingernails and chew them. In fact, I loved it. It came with this soothing sensation and fulfilment you can't even imagine. How my nervous system and brain worked hand in hand to interprete and carry out the stimuli of biting off and chewing my fingernails is something I still haven't figured out. I really enjoyed the chewing aspect more. I knew it was a bad habit because most times I was seen doing that, I was cautioned. Sometimes, my mom would scold me. "Will you put that hand down before I spank you." She did this always with a harsh tone in her voice. I would be forced remove my finger(s) from my mouth. Sometimes, in a public gathering, I would get lost in the act, only for my mom to give me an eye contact which meant "be careful".
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One fateful day, I was at home sitting on a plastic chair at the corridor. Having chewed my fingernails to a point where there was nothing to chew, the urge of 'biting and chewing' came. As little as I was, the thought of my toenails brushed through my mind. Yes!! I was excited but I knew the act would be hard to carry out. Trying to get my toes into my mouth was a big deal. A really big deal! Notwithstanding, I kept trying, little did I know my mom was watching me from a distance. I was on the verge of getting the act done when the plastic chair I was sitting on broke. Immediately, I fell backwards and hit my head on the floor. I started to yell thinking my mom would come to my rescue. I sighted her but she was looking away. I began to cry, this time louder so I could be heard.
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My mom approached me and I thought she would pet me as usual. I was too wrong to be right. I got the beating I'd never forget. My fingernails were checked henceforth. On no account was I able to bite or chew my nails. My mom trimmed my fingernails quite often and eventually I got over it. I got over the sweetness it gave me. I stopped biting and chewing my fingernails. I stopped the bad habit.
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Habits are behaviours done repeatedly. Sometimes, they are involuntarily done while other times, they are done consciously. Breaking habits(bad habits) are quite difficult. It takes time but in the end, the freedom from it is worth it.
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Immediately I got into my room, I checked my fingernails. It wasn't looking like that of the motorcyclist. So much to be grateful for today,  my fingernails are no exception. *smiles*

Have a great day!
Anne.
XO

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THE DARK ROOM

Yes!!! I promised a long time ago that I was going to put up a story here. I'll try my best to update the story every week. "Stories" menu is created for it. Make sure you're using the web version then check the header or just click on the navigation bar if you're using a mobile phone and go to "stories". You can always check it out. The title is "The dark room". Enjoy reading it and don't forget to share it with your friends.When I'm done with the story, there will be a quiz and prizes will be won. I promise!
Soon, we'll be having our social media pages. It'll be communicated via this platform. Watch out!
Have a nice time and happy new week. XO

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THE DARK ROOM  

RESUMPTION

 

     Nana snapped her fingers as she walked past the hostel's corridor. 'Oh.. No!!! I should have waited a little while before submitting,' she lamented. Meanwhile, Mariam was walking a little faster to catch up with Nana. 

'Hey you!!! ' she cuts in. 

' Why are you walking alone? anything the problem?' Mariam asked. Nana was mute. 

'Just tell me, it's Chris this time, right??' Mariam asked again paying more attention to Nana's facial expression. 

Nana was a bit tired, she adjusted the small towel she placed on her neck and replied, 

'No Mariam, it's not Chris this time. I didn't write well in the class exercise today and I submitted quite fast.

' Come on girl! ' Mariam held Nana by her left shoulder.' It's not like the end of the session yet, abi na WAEC ni... Abeg! Fashi babe.' She added as she spoke in pidgin English language. Nana smiled. They both laughed and hurried to their room.
     It was a cloudy evening, it seemed darker than usual. Some girls were running helter-skelter in the dormitory to put things in the right order.
'Hey Bunkie, could you please pass that blue bucket across to me?' Mariam requested in a quite fascinating voice as she smiled. Her roommates were surprised she wasn't putting up a serious look on her face.

*            *               *               *                  *

     Nana wasn't interested in having a conversation with Angela. She took another route to class as she spotted her some few miles away. Angela is a dark slim tall girl. Rarely could you grip her arms to feel her flesh without having any contact with her bones. Her hair is quite short and frizzy, black in colour and very scanty. She is quite loquacious and most students knew her as an attention seeker. On approaching her classroom, Nana tiptoed as she sneaked to her seat. She dropped her bag and whispered into Mariam's ear. 'You're such a silly roomie, you left me behind.'
'Pay attention!!!' Mrs. Afolabi, their class teacher ordered as she faced Nana and Mariam's direction. 'Yes ma!' both girls chorused.
    After the class assembly was over, the class became rowdy. Most students resumed today.
'Oh my.....goodness!!! See my beautiful girls.' Betty screamed.
'Beeeettttttyyyyyy!!' Nana and Mariam exclaimed.
'Nana, you look prettier, Chris has really been on point.' Betty swang her tongue out to the right side after the statement she made and Nana felt embarrassed.
'Hope you've been good?' Mariam asked giggling.
'Why not?! ' Betty turned around in excitement as she went to hug Nana and Mariam.
Nana, Betty and Mariam were good friends. Unlike Nana and Mariam, Betty was a day student. Greetings and gestures were exchanged by all students in the class. It was the beginning of the second week of the session. Quite a number of students resumed today.
To be continued..... 
Anne.
Image source: eTimes News Africa

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DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE?

Staring deeply into your eyes,
is an answer to the question;
that I have long awaited.
Do you BELIEVE in love?
My better half,
I do this on your behalf.
Look no further I'm with you
Do you believe my words are true?
Listen carefully and hear my heart speak,
words of expression of love at its peak.
A constant reminder my heart is yours
This feeling I will trust.
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Do you BELIEVE in love?
Pure love, so genuine.
A beautiful stroke that makes me brand new.
A source of inspiration
with a solid foundation,
A heart-pleasing sensation
that cut across nations.
An elixir of great substance,
that brings joy in abundance.
An inexplicable feeling
yet beautiful to behold.
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Do you BELIEVE in love?
To believe is to be alive.
To be alive in love is to overcome through love.
Love is the greatest gift of all.
Selfless and undeniable,
Interwoven yet understanding.
Love is blissful.
Love is me through you,
Love is me and you.
Do you believe in me and you?
Do you BELIEVE in love?
 -Anne
#Neebsy'sdesk

In anticipation to the release of Tega's love song -BELIEVE ft Ade.
#Newjam #vibes
Good music is good for the soul. #BELIEVE.

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THE ROLES OF GENDER, CLASS AND CULTURE AS REGARDS TO GENDER EQUITY. Part1

Good day everyone.
It's a privilege to be writing again. I'm grateful for the beautiful readers.
I'll be focusing on the society and matters concerning us as social individuals for the rest days of the week.
I'll be writing on the topic above and will like to start with a short story I can use for illustration.

"Good morning Nne. " Amaka greeted her mother kneeling slightly with a bucket of water on her head. She had woken up early in the morning to fetch water from the public tap a street away from hers.
"Morning my daughter, " her mother responded as she tied her scarf on her head.
"Where is Obinna? " she asked. Amaka kept mute and pretended not to hear her mother.
"Come and help me with my zip. " Amaka's mother requested pointing her index finger at her back.
" Okay Nne. " Amaka dropped her bucket of water on a concrete pavement and rushed to help her mother.
" When you're done make sure you sweep the kitchen, arrange everywhere and cook o." she instructed Amaka. Amaka wore a sad look on her face as she grumbled.
"Ahn Ahn! What of Obinna na?" Amaka walked out in anger.
Her mother adjusted her wrapper and replied "don't you know Obinna is a boy?!"
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Gender is a social term that defines a man and woman with less regards to biological characteristics but based on roles and functions while class is ordering of people (i.e both men and women) in a society into different set based on social or economic status. Culture is generally the total way of life of a group of people.
Today in our society, 'masculinity and femininity' is a kind of fundamental issue. We can't actually talk about gender without taking a look at masculinity and femininity. Although, masculinity is not really emphasized on like femininity which has led to a rise in the number of women that acknowledged themselves as feminists. 'Gender equity' is most times a controversial topic but I'll try my best to analyze my points.
Masculinity also called manliness is a set of behaviour, attitude, character and roles of boys or men while femininity on the other hand is a set of behaviour, attitude and roles associated with girls or women.
From the above story I told, it depicts a Nigerian society. We can also notice the gender, societal class and the culture from the above short narrative story.
We live in a society that has labelled 'chores is for girls or women, the boys or men can be exempted. In other words, 'house chores' are part of roles. We can tell from the story above that Amaka mother feels that way. The way an African female child is being raised is to care for the home first. Over time, feminists have come out to say gender is a form of oppression for women just because we have being raised to think some particular roles are just for women alone.
What if Obinna joined Amaka in fetching water? What if he assisted her with the chores?
I think the African culture in general is a gap between masculinity and femininity. Also, social class has an influence on gender roles. We notice that a family with a high social class based on economic status raises a male and female child in a different way compared to a family with a lower social class. Culture, social class and gender roles are constructed and developed by humans and it changes overtime. They all have positive and negative effects as regards to gender equity. Our attitude and character towards this will bridge the gap. I believe in fairness. I mean what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
To be continued...
Anne.

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