THE THIN LINE BETWEEN PRETENCE AND BEING RESERVED

Hello everyone! What do you think about pretence and being reserved? One day, someone walked up to me and asked "Are you really reserved or do you just pretend?"
Today, I'll share my view on the thin line between pretence and being reserved.

"Hey dear! You look very gentle." Martins gave his remark.

"Thank you! " Claire responded smiling. 

 They both exchanged pleasantries that fateful day before heading towards the lecture hall. Claire and Martins were classmates but didn't really interact with each other. Claire was more of a quiet person in class and Martins was really outspoken and jovial. 

     Three weeks later, they met at a resort centre. Claire was comfortable with Martins. He could never have imagined she was interested in sports, enjoyed rap music and some secular music. He found out about her love for dancing, her ability to keep long conversations going as opposed to her attitude in class. He wondered why almost everyone labeled her a pretender when she is actually a reserved person. They got along afterwards and still remained good friends after school.  

     When a person pretends, he/she acts with the intention to deceive but when a person is reserved; he/she acts calmly and isn't quick to voice out. Being reserved is sometimes misconstrued by others as pretence. 

    Often times, we really don't know someone until we've met them. Sometimes, we have the wrong stereotype about people. We judge a person by appearance as opposed to how the person really is. Appearance can be quite deceptive. We make comments about people based on what we think they are and not what they are. 

    I'm a very calm person, I really don't like talking publicly as well. I like to have my own space. I'm observant and I listen more when I'm with people . It's a different ball game in my comfort zone. I don't have a lot of friends, just a few. I really love my opinion to be heard among my friends, sometimes I'm very playful, I tease people I'm comfortable with and make sarcastic comments. I wouldn't do these publicly. I'm also good at keeping companies. I laugh really hard when people tell me I pretend. Well, I can be shy but I really don't see that as pretence. I'm actually not a loud person. I think it's the same for some of us. We're mistaken for who we aren't just because we are often times reserved.
    I think the thin line between pretence and being reserved is the "intention to deceive". The former entails being what you're not just to deceive others or make others see you as a different person. Get to know people more and find out if they pretend or just love to act on the low side without voicing out or letting people know what goes down with them. There's so much work to do when you pretend. You aren't comfortable with yourself, you don't act your wage, you go extra length to get people's attention, just to mention a few. Come on!! Why stress over pretending to be who you aren't?
"We must distinguish between acting to deceive and being calm to be reserved. "
Anne.
XO